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• Alice Madness Returns Laggy 2017
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Alice: I know I'm guilty of something, but punishment never suits the victims of the crime. Caterpillar: Abuse is a crime the strong visit on the weak, and you're right, abusers are insufficiently punished for the damage they do.

@ClankANDReaverLOVA: That's quite true about the reviewers, but people play games because they think they're interesting- not because a reviewer gave it a bad score. A reviewer could give a game the worst score, and some people might still play that game just because they enjoy playing it. It's the same with movies and television shows as well- critics just point out all the flaws, but people can still like the movie.

As to my current opinion on Alice: Madness Returns, I must say that the PC version of it is quite laggy- and that's the only version of the game I have. I was at this one area in the beginning of Wonderland- in the first chapter of the game- where the ground collapses and pipes spewing this sort of black substance appear. Alice had to jump and float over those pipes, and she'd turn into a bunch of butterflies every time she so much as touched a bit of the black substance (or fell, which sometimes happened). When I tried to get this one piece of memory- or something like it- that was on a cliff, I had made so many attempts at trying to get it because of how laggy the game was. Eventually I got it before I moved on, though my progress in that same area was slowed- primarily because the lag caused Alice to not go real high (or real far, if that also was affected) whenever she jumped. Because of that, I was stuck in that one area with no idea where to go exactly- I had tried to jump up a ledge where I believed was the way ahead, but I started to doubt whether or not that was the correct path. And it was all because of the lag.

Another problem I had later in the game- still on the first chapter- was in the Hatter's territory. I had to jump on invisible platforms I could only see when Alice was tiny in order to get another memory. However, I couldn't reach it because of the lag causing problems with Alice's jumping physics- and I believe that whole jumping puzzle was laggy, but I had to give up because I couldn't get to the final platform.

Later on in Hatter's territory, I came to the March Hare, but at a point where I had to jump up some steps in order to get to the top one, I experienced another problem with the game: the camera angles- specifically the 2D perspective it took at the stairs. For that part, I had to jump up the steps while avoiding getting squashed by the huge iron fists (or boots, but whatever they were didn't matter); but most of my attempts ended in failure because of not just the lag, but also because the camera had to switch to a 2D perspective. Those problems seriously messed up my progress to the point where I don't want to play the game anymore- and I went through those problems a few months ago, so I had stopped playing then.

At first I thought my reason for quitting was because I had to float across a large gap with more of those iron fists looking to crush me after I got to the top step. You know those timer things that will turn green when you hit them with a projectile? Well, I couldn't see one of them there, and I don't recall even noticing one there at all, but that wasn't really one of my reasons for quitting the game. I'd say it was whenever Alice fell, or got crushed by those iron fists, she'd have to start all over again at the bottom of the stairs where the camera switched to the 2D perspective. That was one of my real reasons for quitting.

Lag, bad camera angles, and starting over at the beginning of a difficult part because of those two problems. All problems that make players just want to stop playing the game for good.

I understand that games, no matter what version of the game you're playing- PC, Xbox 360, Playstation 3- can be laggy in some spots; but if the lag is in an area that will cause players to wonder where the path is/goes, or cause them to give up on getting something that should be real easy to get, they should just not play the game anymore because it's not worth it to play a game that's full of so much lag. There's also the matter of the camera angles, as they can seriously cause so many problems with making progress because of where the camera is pointing. And having to start over at a certain difficult point because those two problems combined together screwed you over? That's when you have to put the controller down/open the start menu, return to the main menu (if you choose to), and shut the game off- and for good. I'm certainly glad I did.

Alice: Madness Returns is the sequel to the third person action-adventure game American McGee's Alice.

Alice[edit]

• My Wonderland is shattered. It's dead to me.
• Another day, a different dream perhaps.
• Is it mad to pray for better hallucinations?
• I know what's real!
• I know I'm guilty of something, but punishment hardly ever suits the victims of a crime.
• Who set that bloody train in motion? Where has it come from?
• You've used me and abused me, but you will not destroy me!
• It's not a dream. It's a...memory. And it makes me sick!
• Wonderland has become quite strange. How is one to find her way?
• This is good for me. I'm not insane! I didn't kill my family. I am fine. I'm not mad. I am innocent, I mean, not guilty!
• I've not come back here looking for a fight.
• I want to forget! Who would choose to be alone, imprisoned by their broken memories? [bitter]
• I know their pain. I would assist. But is sanity required for the job?
• Blasted Cat!

Cheshire Cat[edit]

• Puurrfect. When you're not on edge, you're taking up too much space.
• Threats, promises and good intentions don't amount to action.
• Every picture tells a story. Sometimes we don't like the ending. Sometimes we don't understand it.
• Ah, Alice. We can't go home again. No surprise really. Only a very few find the way, and most of them don't recognize it when they do. Delusions, too, die hard with memory. Only the savage regard the endurance of pain as the measure of worth. Forgetting pain is convenient, remembering it: agonizing. But recovering the truth is worth the suffering and our Wonderland, though damaged, is safe in memory... for now.
• Abandon that hope! A new law reigns in this wonderland Alice, it's very rough justice all around. We're at risk here. You, be on your guard.
• A secret is only a secret when it is unspoken to another.
• Different denotes neither bad nor good, but it certainly means not the same.
• Only the insane equate pain with success.
• Only fools believe that suffering is just wages for being different.
• Every adventure requires a first step. Trite, but true, even here.
• The uninformed must improve their deficit, or die
• Only a few find the way, some don't recognize it when they do - some... don't ever want to.
• Haste makes waste, so I rarely hurry. But if a ferret were about to dart up my dress, I'd run.
• A reflection sometimes exposes more reality than the object it echoes.

Mad Hatter[edit]

• The world is upside-down, Alice. Inmates run the asylum - no offence - and worst of all... I'm left tea-less!
• The insolence, the arrogance the execrable table manners! They are destroyers of Wonderland! Defilers! Denuders! Derangers! Delightful...
• The law is just. Just a whisper away. Who knows how to measure rules? With a ruler! Cruel rules.
• Everything's a nail, is it, Miss Hammerhead? First it was your search, freighted with fear and fragmented memories. Now it's the train! Never time for tea. While your brain's on holiday, we're ruined! Now we're all mad here and that's a good excuse for going to hell in a teapot, but not for forgetting what your senses saw.
• Forgetting's just forgetting, except when it's not. Then they call it something else. I'd like to forget what you did. I've tried, but I can't.

The Queen of Hearts[edit]

• A good guest does not overstay, a perfect guest stays home!
• The train is trying to destroy all evidence of your past and especially the fire. Now, who would want that? Who benefits from your madness?
• There is no method in this madness!
• Authority must be obeyed, or it must be overthrown!
• What you claim not to know is merely what you've denied. You've recaptured your vagrant memories. What are you doing with them?
• You shouldn't ask questions you know the answer to, it's not polite.
• Make your survival mean something, or we are all doomed!
• I may survive here, but you're finished!
• You don't know your own mind!

Dr Bumby[edit]

• Memory is more often a curse than a blessing.
• The cost of forgetting is high.
• The past must be paid for.
• A flower's purpose is simple and immutable. Human purpose is fickle because it is a slave to memory. Memories must be strictly managed, Alice. Unproductive ones must be eliminated.

Other[edit]

• Nurse Witless: Still a mess, no surprise. Her kin roasted like chestnuts right before her eyes. Ten years in Rutledge Asylum wasted everyone's time! Dr Bumby won't do better. Still hauling out her questions: the fire, her memory. I deserve consideration, don't I? Who found her her new clothes? Who got her a place at Bumby's? Where she'd be without me? On the street, selling her backside! Likes my pigeons, though. She's doled out the odd pound or two. But I know what's worth more than that! Kept her secret, haven't I? Heard her say 'All died on my account, I couldn't save you!' I've told her my silence is for sale, cheap! I'm a good sort, really, not like her nanny, that uppity whore! Or that lawyer fellow Radcliffe [who] took her stupid rabbit! Need money... warned her I'd tell the coppers if she didn't make a 'donation' to my upkeep. She yells and goes off her head. Days she can't remember her name, what I heard.

• Dr Bumby: Come, Alice, am I not to be as much honoured and obeyed as the Queen? Is that asking too much? I want what she wanted. Give yourself over to that: trade the tentacles for the train. It's altogether a better ride. It's that or back to Rutledge!

• Nurse Witless: Never a kind word or reward for services rendered! Don't I deserve a bit of luck? Don't piss on what's right and owing to me, I say! Brought you out of the asylum, now you'll go back of your own accord!

• Nanny: I told your mother, dear. You're a distant and stubborn child, too content in her own world. Young women need to leave their wonderlands. The real world is not so 'wonderful'. You'll need to grow up. Perhaps some more time in 'care'?

• Radcliffe: You look decent enough. But appearances deceive: I know you for an unstable and violent person! I can't say I'm surprised you've been incarcerated in the asylum again. A long stay under supervision would serve you right!

• Dr. Wilson: 'Flight or Fight' implies a permanent choice. But 'flight' often just means putting the fight off to another day. Choose your battles wisely, Alice.

• Walrus' Poem:

Sword and crown are worthless here,

I invite everyone to dance

Labourers, lawyers, church and gown all make their little prance.

This life is full of random death

And heaps of grief and shame,

So few are soothed by 'accident'

You want someone to blame.

Fire, plague or strange disease,

Drowned, murdered or, if you please,

A long fall down the basement stairs

None are expected, no one cares.

I often must work very hard

Sweat running down my skin,

After the dance I then must rest

And the eating can begin.

Dialogue[edit]

Alice: At least the place I've landed is somewhat familiar

Cheshire Cat: [Suddenly materializing] About time, too, Alice.

Alice: Blasted cat! Don't try to bully me. I'm very much on edge!

Cheshire Cat: Purrfect. When you're not on edge, you're taking up too much space.

Alice: You are no help at all!

Cheshire Cat: But you know I can be.

Alice: I'll frighten myself when necessary, thanks very much. I was hoping to escape all that!

Cheshire Cat: Abandon that hope! A new law reigns in 'this' Wonderland, Alice, it's very rough justice all round. We're at risk here, you be on your guard!

Duchess: Ah it's you again, Alice. You may approach.

Alice: Why would I do that? You want to eat me!

Duchess: Yes, well you taught me manners and I've lost my taste for mad women; strictly a porcine diet for me. Everything is better with bacon, don't you agree? Of course you do. Now, there are pig snots scattered about. I heard a few behind the house; go fetch them for me. But take care of the pests that block your way. Pepper them up if they do. They need spice and you're just the dish -- ehm -- girl to season them for me. You'll find that grinder serviceable.

Alice: Why not season your own pig parts?

Duchess: Matters of priorities! My Alabaster skin needs protection from the disgusting creatures running amok amidst the environs. But one gets peckish! Look, all you have to do is listen for the oink, then shoot the snout! You may like the results. I certainly will.

Alice: The Hatter's Domain, almost as I remember it!

Cheshire Cat: Appearances, as you know better than most, can be deceiving, Alice. Much has changed since your last visit.

Alice: Dr Bumby says change is 'constructive', that 'different' is good.

Cheshire Cat: Different denotes neither 'bad' nor 'good', but it certainly means not the same! Find the Hatter, Alice. He knows more about 'different' than you.

Alice: But does he know more about the difference between bad and good?

Cheshire Cat: [noticing the Bolterflies attacking] Making friends, Alice? You're as randomly lethal and entirely confused as you ever were.

Alice: I've managed without you so far, Cat. Return to whatever hovel's home to you, I'll call if I need you.

Cheshire Cat: Predictably rash. It's not a question of 'if', Alice, it's 'when'. Now hold on, and as they say, 'shut up'! [he disappears]

Alice: So typical.

Mock Turtle: You'd better come aboard, Alice. We're doomed, of course!

Alice: What? There's no hope, then?

Mock Turtle: Oh, there's an infinite amount of hope, but not for us!

Mock Turtle: Confounded beasts, they want my ship!

Alice: I think you're more to their taste.

Mock Turtle: [outraged] Never! We're almost relatives!

Alice: You're related to soup, Admiral.

Caterpillar: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step!

Alice: A single step off London Bridge could end my journey...

Caterpillar: Failure as your epitaph? I'd hoped you were more courageous!

Alice: I've come all this way to find a simulacrum?!

Caterpillar: If I had the time, I'd detail how often you prefer dealing with illusions rather than the real thing. Problems you refuse to deal with don't exist! You deny reality!

Alice: That's not right! I know what's real!

Caterpillar: No! You allow others to tell you what isn't real.

Alice: My memories are shattered! This wicked train has ruined nearly all I can recall and Wonderland will perish completely as I lose my mind. So much has changed... I can't help Wonderland if I can't help myself!

Caterpillar: Much has changed, but you've got it backwards: save Wonderland and you may save yourself! The Carpenter was on to something, but he was hiding from the real. Your goal is to accept it!

Alice: Where should I go, then? What should I do?

Caterpillar: The Queen must be served, Alice. The Queen, in all her guises, must always be served.

Alice: How can she stem this growing corruption or assist my search? What does she know that I don't?

Caterpillar: She is someone you once knew and loved. Time changes us all.

Alice: Not all change is good!

Caterpillar: Remember that when you find the Queen!

Alice Madness Returns Laggy 2017

Cheshire Cat: Back to admire your handiwork? Returning to the scene of the crime?

Alice: It had to be done, Cat, you said so yourself! 'You and this Red Queen cannot both survive. She is a cancer in your body. Excise her or perish!'

Cheshire Cat: Well, she was the face of evil in the heart of darkness...

Alice: She didn't treat you too well last time, lost your head as I recall!

Cheshire Cat: She was completely deranged. You picked up her crown, but now you've put it down. You must speak to her; what's left of her, anyway.

Alice Madness Returns Download Free

Alice: The Red Kingdom's in ruins, but you're no better off!

White King: When you defeated her, I tried to reclaim the castle, but I was set upon by her monstrosities. The malignant royal bitch still reigns.

Alice: I'm here to petition her. I must get inside.

White King: The only way in is through me. Sacrifices must be made.

Alice: Those who say so usually mean 'they should be made by others'.

White King: Cynicism is a disease! It can be cured. Once inside, beware of the outsized killer who patrols her domain. Never confront him; he is invincible. Now cut me loose: I'll show you the meaning of 'sacrifice'!

Alice: [to the Queen] I was expecting someone else!

Queen of Hearts: You don't know your own mind!

Alice: It's nearly a complete stranger!

Queen of Hearts: What you claim not to know is merely what you've denied. You've recaptured your vagrant memories: what are you doing with them?! You once rejected my attempts to control our lives forcefully, but now you've allowed another to succeed in my role!

Alice: I won't miss your tentacles.

Queen of Hearts: [infuriated] You'd prefer the hot stinking breath and unyielding attentions of a potent, unreasoning, unfeeling hellraiser?! I don't think so!

Alice: Can you give me more than a warning? Caterpillar said you might help!

Queen of Hearts: I'd need a better reason to respond than what's currently on offer!

Alice: If you don't, we're all doomed!

Queen of Hearts: Not doomed. Forgotten! I may survive here, but you're finished! You see the pattern of destruction, I know you do! The train is trying to destroy all evidence of your past and especially the fire. Now, who would want that? Who benefits from your madness?!

Alice: The destruction of Wonderland... is the destruction of me?!

Queen of Hearts: Indeed! And vice versa!

Alice: I've set it in motion, I can derail it. This is good for me! I'm not insane! I didn't kill my family. I am fine. I'm not mad, I'm innocent - I mean, not guilty! [sees the tentacles wrapping around her] What's happening, what are you doing?!

Queen of Hearts: The train must be stopped, but there's more to do. Your view conceals a tragedy. The whole truth you 'claim' to seek eludes you because you won't look at what's around you! [swallows Alice; Inside Alice's memories] There is no method in this madness!

Dr Wilson: My professional opinion? Madness is often a treatable disease, though perhaps not in this case.

Queen of Hearts: Authority must be obeyed, or it must be overthrown!

Nurse Witless: 'Cruel to be kind', that's my technique as they say, but she's as mad as a hatter, poor dearie!

Dr Bumby: Worst is over, and over, and over. Forget it, Alice - forget it!

Insane Child: The unstable are more than merely mad: they have 'other parts'. The Dollmaker will deprive them of what remains of their deranged souls. They need care!

Alice: I know their pain. I would assist, but is sanity required for the job?

Insane Child: A limited quantity. You're not mad enough to be rejected. You're like them, of them in a way, but not them. I should say 'not us', for I'm them, but you are on your way. The way is clearly marked.

Alice: I believe I know that way and I'd rather not travel further along it.

Alice: My Lizzie... What is this train's destination?

Queen of Hearts: Madness and Destruction. You shouldn't ask the questions you know the answers to, it's not polite. And that noise wasn't Lizzie talking in her sleep.

Alice: Oh no... Poor Lizzie!

Queen of Hearts: And there are no centaurs in Oxford. Make your survival mean something or we are all doomed!

Caterpillar: Come to receive your punishment then?

Alice: I know I'm guilty of something, but punishment never suits the victims of the crime.

Caterpillar: Abuse is a crime the strong visit on the weak, and you're right, abusers are insufficiently punished for the damage they do. Those who witness abuse without seeking retribution for the harmed pay a penalty. Your own pain mitigates your failure to act earlier, but you may not yet have paid enough for witnessing the pain of others...

Alice: Is there really so little hope?

Cheshire Cat: There is even less. And if fear paralyzes you... we're lost.